Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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