Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
