DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
