im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
