white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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