Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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