Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
