When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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