you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
