At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
