Pappa wants mamma naked
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
