My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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