piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
