shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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