My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
