My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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