can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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