This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
