Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
