Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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