im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
