Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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