Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota

(415): View more from California

everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

why does my vagina smell like weed?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

omg thats a great idea

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(740): View more from Ohio

Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.

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(903): View more from Texas

u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

(214): View more from Texas

Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.

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(831): View more from California

Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"

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(503): View more from Oregon

Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?

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(901): View more from Tennessee

The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked

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