Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
