Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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