put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Let's get the cat blown out
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
