I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
