party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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