I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
