Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
