Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
