he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
