I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
