so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
