But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
