Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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