I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
