Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
