yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
