I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
