the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
