Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
