6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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