yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
