you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
