the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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