the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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