I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
