dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
