direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
