that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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